


warmth in the cold {on hiatus}

by kiiller_koii



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Amethyst Has ADHD, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Human AU, Moving In Together, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, and depression, implied eating disorder (past), lapidot (minor), pearl has insomnia, pearl just is not having a good time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiiller_koii/pseuds/kiiller_koii
Summary: " The snow burned her eyes and in the dead of night, the streetlights were her only salvation. Pearl clasped her free hand around the opposite forearm. It was freezing. She hauled her small, blue suitcase behind her, the wheels indenting the fresh snow as she trudged away from the house she’d lived in for the past years. She’d loved it there, up until Rose died. And then it became hell. But all the same, she’d never expected her fate to be being kicked out. And by Greg? Well, that was just humiliating. "
Relationships: Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Past), rose quartz/greg universe (past)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 30





	1. walk away as the door slams

**Author's Note:**

> reminder: this is a human au
> 
> chapter title comes from "walk away as the door slams' by lil peep

She could hardly see.

The snow burned her eyes and in the dead of night, the streetlights were her only salvation. Pearl clasped her free hand around the opposite forearm. It was freezing. She hauled her small, blue suitcase behind her, the wheels indenting the fresh snow as she trudged away from the house she’d lived in for the past years. She’d loved it there, up until Rose died. And then it became hell. But all the same, she’d never expected her fate to be being kicked out. And by Greg? Well, that was just humiliating.

In hindsight, maybe she should’ve moved out sooner. After Rose’s passing, she didn’t have any reason to stay. Well, Greg had requested help with Steven… but that wasn’t her job. There wasn’t a reason for her to have anything to do with either of them. She should’ve left when Greg moved in in the first place. It’s not that Greg was a  _ bad  _ guy, per se, but Pearl certainly resented him for everything. She’d always considered him to be her murderer, indirectly, even if it was an irrational thought.

She had more pressing issues right now. She could see her breath over her pointed nose with she exhaled, straining to make her way through the snow. The house was so far out of town. She’d liked that, but now it was only a curse. She needed help. Even if she didn’t want it. She trudged on, every breath more difficult to take in than the last. The cold bit at her porcelain skin and the wind blew her peach hair over her shoulders. It hurt.

She hadn’t even noticed she’d made it into town when she did. But her hand met the rough surface of a building with no light inside. She leaned against it, catching her breath. Perhaps her unhealthy lifestyle had been getting to her (she really needed to eat; she had a history of refusing food, but it was improving). Nonetheless, Pearl had never been the strongest physically. She wasn’t even surprised when she collapsed into the snow. 

Pearl managed to haul herself upwards just to lean against the wall behind her, but she found herself exhausted. She’d gone past the point of shivering, she was  _ shaking _ , and the tears that slipped over her nose might as well have been icicles hanging off of her chin. She managed to touch her face, and she noticed that when her numb finger came off of it, it was stained black. Her makeup was running. She usually went all-natural, but today just happened to be the day she didn’t. It made her a bit sad, to see her handiwork washed away.

She supposed she was distracting herself from the real problem.

Her eyelids felt heavy and her limited movements grew sluggish, and she began to let herself drift off. She blinked heavily, and then her eyes closed.

* * *

The first thing that she consciously noticed when she woke up was that her running mascara had been washed off. She’d brought her hand to her face the moment she opened her eyes, an instinctual reaction of sorts. Her skin felt a bit damped, but it had been cleaned. To some extent, she was glad that she’d passed out. It was the best sleep she’d had in weeks. She squeezed her hands together because she could  _ feel _ them again, and wrapped the blanket tighter around her. She paused. A blanket?

...She could hear someone talking.

Two people talking.

Only then did she realize that she had no idea where she was.

A couch, she settled on. Someone’s couch. Someone she didn’t know. With that same someone’s blanket wrapped around her shoulders. All the same, she closed it tighter around herself. Her body still felt cold; it must not have been long since she was outside. Sitting up just slightly, Pearl listened in.

  
“Well, what’re we supposed to do?”

The first voice was raspy and direct, and definitely not one that Pearl recognized. 

“Let her recover, first. Who knows how long she was out there?”

The other was stoic and with an obvious English accent, one that Pearl knew immediately. 

“...She’s awake.”

Oh dear. She’d been seen. She attempted to return to her original suspicious and divert the attention off of her, but the footsteps were already approaching her. She kept the blanket provided tight around her, exhaling her nerves. 

The looming presence of the first woman who knelt in front of her was a familiar one. The afro and the sunglasses she wore even inside were a given to her identity. She flushed- she wasn’t glad to have  _ her  _ seeing her in this state. She was an absolute wreck, especially since she’d apparently been found fainted in an alleyway. 

“Pearl.” She greeted simply, emotionlessly. Fairly typical of her nature.

She cleared her throat before managing to choke, “Ah... G-Garnet…”

There was a pause, and it was supremely awkward.

She hadn’t seen Garnet in years, and of course, this had to be their reuniting. She was Rose’s friend, back in high school. Back when everything was all so simple. Pearl had been in love, back then. She missed that feeling. After a moment, Pearl’s tired voice spoke up again.

“So… is this your hou-” 

She faded off when the other woman whose voice she’d heard pounced in front of her. Pearl flinched backward at her sudden presence, her dark skin bringing out the deep indigo of her eyes, lavender hair falling in cascades over her shoulders. She was short and a bit stout, but made quite the appearance. Pearl swallowed as this stranger’s face came close to her own, inspecting the lithe woman intently.

“Uh, hey there! I’m Amethyst, and… you’re in my house!”


	2. sometimes life gets fucked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins tentatively, and their start is a rocky one.
> 
> -chapter title is from "u said" by lil peep
> 
> -potential tw in this chapter for implications of a past ED

Her lips burned, just a bit, but she supposed that was better than freezing off.

The tea that Garnet had made her before leaving was pleasantly fragrant and delectably hot. Garnet had never been one to take her drinks at merely lukewarm, Pearl remembered that much. Still, she was grateful. The drink helped to regulate her body temperature back up, as did the thin blanket draped around her shoulders. The room was fairly quiet, other than the casual chatting of Amethyst on the phone beside her. She’d been talking to someone for quite a while now, but Pearl hadn’t been listening to what she was saying. Or maybe she couldn’t. Perhaps there was water in her ears from the thick snow (and who knows how long she’d sat in wait before her rescue).

Pearl’s knees near touched her nose as she curled up into a sitting position on the couch. One of her hands rested on the surface of the lumpy cushion, and the other held the warm mug in it. Her eyes darted towards the clock- 3:00 am. The thin woman sighed through her nose, a horrible feeling igniting in her for keeping Garnet and this other girl up so late for her. What was it- Amethyst? Ah, Pearl felt even worse for nearly forgetting her name, she  _ was  _ in her house, after all. 

After another few moments, a phone beeped and no longer was the room quiet.

“So, uh- what’s your name again? Pearl, right?” Amethyst leaned forward to place her hands right in front of Pearl’s feet, propping herself up. Her mouth curled into a tentative smile, and somehow it felt welcoming. Although, Pearl wasn’t so sure. 

“Oh… yes, that’s me. I assume Garnet told you.”

“Yeah, she did. Real homie right there. Kinda crazy you two know each other, eh?”

Pearl lifted her hand to sheepishly tuck a piece of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear, trepidatious about the idea of giving this girl any information about her. Although, something within her was saying that Amethyst was trustworthy. 

“Mhm, indeed. She’s an… old friend, is all.” Pearl mused.

“Sick,” Amethyst commented, the uncouth way of speaking made Pearl huff, just slightly. “Well, just got off’a the phone with my landlord. He’s pretty pissed that I called him at like, three in the morning but, eh. Anyway- he told me I can have a roommate if I wanna! Maybe it’s not like, a great idea to invite a stranger into my place, but you seem cool, and it looks like you don’t have anywhere else to go, so if you want… you can stay here, least till you get back on your feet.”

Pearl, admittedly, was slightly slack-jawed. She would  _ never  _ invite someone she didn’t know into her house. It was dangerous, and reckless, and maybe  _ stupid _ . Of course, she herself knew that Amethyst wasn’t being put in danger, but what if she were someone else? She wasn’t partial to just…  _ moving in  _ with someone on the spot, either, but… this girl was Garnet’s friend, wasn’t she? And, well, she couldn’t exactly go home.

“...I suppose I haven’t anywhere else to go.”

The delight that lit up Amethyst’s face (or, what Pearl could see of it- it was partially obscured by a thick curtain of lavender hair) was near immeasurable. Pearl wasn’t sure why. 

_ She definitely wouldn’t be that excited about a strange new presence taking up room in the house she loved so much...  _

“Aw, sweet! It gets boring around here sometimes, y’know? My friends come over sometimes, but like- it’ll be nice to have someone around often.” She twirled her long hair around a plump finger, shrugging almost nonchalantly.

Pearl responded with an unsure hum, pulling the blanket she’d been given tighter around her. Her tea had run room-temperature by now. 

“Oh, shit- you wanna get some more blankets?” Amethyst offered, a gentle concern gracing dark eyes. “You look pretty run down.”

Run down?

Oh, well, run down was an understatement.

Pearl was a mess. It had been months, and still, she was grieving. She hadn’t a proper night’s sleep in days. This was fairly common, but  _ she  _ had provided Pearl with help and medicines and comfort. Nor had she ingested a full meal. Thanks to  _ her, _ Pearl believed she was in recovery.  _ She  _ was always around to reassure her and confirm that she had eaten, and to assist her in the difficult process. When Pearl lost her, everything had spiraled.

After a while of being in her thoughts, Pearl realized that Amethyst was probably referring to her time in the snow.

She cleared her throat, snapping out of it. “Oh- ah- s-sure, yes, I’d like that.”

Amethyst smiled, and jumped off of the couch to stand on her bare feet. “Well then, this’away!” 

Pearl set her mug down onto the coffee table- severely disheartened that this home had no coasters- standing to follow along after Amethyst. She kept the soft sheet coiled around her shoulders. 

“So- where’d you come from, by the way?” Amethyst asked as she led Pearl through the hallway of the apartment.

Just the simple question sparked images of what had happened in Pearl’s mind- her inexcusable behavior and her horrible actions from just hours ago- and it sent an unpleasant shudder down her spine. She felt guilt pool in the pit of her stomach, and tasted bile at the back of her throat. The way that she-

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

She blinked, taking a breath. She didn’t have to think about that right now. 

“Kinda sus, but whateva’. I won’t press you.” Amethyst chuckled and pushed open the door to what Pearl assumed was her room. Pearl appreciated the gesture and opened her mouth to give gentle thanks, but cut herself off when she saw the interior of Amethyst’s room.

Clothes were strewn about, wrinkled on the floor and draped over chairs and the headboard of a rather large bed. There were scraps of half-eaten food left out to collect mold, probably breeding grounds for bugs or attraction for rodents, splayed on the comforter of the bed and the various nightstands and bedside tables. Speaking of, the comforter was untucked and half-hanging off of the bed, pillows in awkward positions with wrinkled pillowcases. All-in-all, it was a disaster.

Pearl nearly gagged, recoiling at the sight in absolute horror. “Oh my stars, A-Amethyst, you-”

“I know, I know,” Amethyst waved a hand while she trounced towards her closet, evidently reading Pearl’s mind. “Don’t worry about the mess, I have a system!”

“But- agh- how could you  _ live  _ like this?!” Pearl threw her hands out, her nose scrunching in utmost disgust at the sight. At this point, she was worried about the blanket Amethyst was getting her being infested with bedbugs.

Pearl caught the slightest roll of Amethyst’s eyes from her place rifling through her closet, replying with a huff. “Ugh, you don’t need to get on my ass. It’s  _ my  _ room.”

“It’s- it’s  _ concerning _ , Amethyst! Oh- you’re going to need to clean this up, I-”

“Gah, shut up!” Amethyst shouted, causing Pearl to take a surprised step backward. “I moved out to get away from all this  _ nagging _ , and I’m not gonna deal with it again! Geez, if you’re gonna be like  _ that, _ I might as well throw you back out!”

Ah, well, that quieted Pearl down. Her mouth snapped shut and she wrung her hands together afront her chest, gritting her teeth. “I’m- I-”

“Just shut it.” Amethyst was closer than Pearl remembered her to be, now, shoving a few thick blankets into Pearl as harshly as she could muster. Pearl huffed and surprisedly took them into her arms, blinking back her nerves. “You’re on the couch. Just- ugh- just go to bed.”

A door was slammed in her face, and Pearl lurched away. She flattened the comforters in her arms so as to see over them, and then sighed. She’d overstepped her boundaries already. It had taken her years to do that with Greg. She  _ couldn’t  _ have a repeat of last time. Silently, she slunk back to the couch and neatly settled in, although she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that manifested itself within her mind. She supposed this was just another regret to pile onto her plate. 

She just hoped she could make things better.

But for now, she placed her head onto a pillow and attempted to sleep.

  
  
  
  
  



	3. tell all of your friends that i’m crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s at first frustration all around, but perhaps they received a nudge in the right direction.
> 
> -chapter title comes from 'maniac' by conan gray

Home wasn’t really  _ home, _ and Pearl needed more than ever to get  _ out  _ of the house.

It had been… five days, or perhaps a week… since Pearl had moved in with Amethyst. Her sense of time was warped. Maybe she was grieving, or maybe she was still horribly distracted by Amethyst. Likely a bit of both. She and Amethyst were… very different. The contrast between them made it quite difficult to live together, to say the least. Despite Pearl being prone to complaining, she really couldn’t much do so. She was very grateful to Amethyst for allowing her into her apartment, but it was quite tortuous, if Pearl was honest.

Fencing was an ideal outlet. For someone so small, dainty, Pearl was nearly a master with a sword. She never expected it to be something so natural to her. It was something to vent her frustrations, to stay active and clear her mind. Although… she’d need to pick up a new job soon, seeing as she was running out of the fund to pay for her classes.

She hauled her small duffel bag over her shoulder as she strode down the sidewalk. She inhaled through her mouth, still slightly out of breath from her session. The walk ‘home’ was bittersweet. On one hand, the idea of returning to the house and resting her tired body was something she was oh-so looking forward to, but… not longer would it be the same, would it?

No more could Pearl come home to a waiting embrace, soft hands to cradle her and pink curls for her to busy her face into. She wouldn’t have  _ her  _ to greet or listen or  _ love- _

Even after an entire three months, she couldn’t just forget about it.

Pearl had been so caught in her thoughts that she almost walked right by the door. Sourly, she chuckled to herself. Grabbing out the spare key that Amethyst had provided her, she carefully tucked it into the doorknob and pushed open the door with a light hand.

She was met with commotion, unlike the usual. Of course, Amethyst was rowdy, but the extent of Pearl’s lavender-haired roommate on her own was usually an obnoxious TV show or a clanging of pots and pans when she made a futile attempt to cook. Today, she was met with the loud zapping of a strange video game coming from the television, and the odd sound of unrecognizable voices.

When Pearl turned her confused gaze towards the couch, she was met with the familiar view of Amethyst- as well as a short, blonde female with large round glasses, and by her side a blue-haired girl with an almost bored expression adorning her stoic face. Amethyst was the first to acknowledge her, flashing a crooked grin and quickly prying a hand from her controller to chastely wave. 

“Heya, Pearl!” She greeted, before being interrupted by an explosion that made Pearl flinch. She laughed, and turned to look at the blonde. “Geez, Peridot!” She exclaimed.

The short one who Pearl assumed to be Peridot was far too focused to address her in the slightest, but she did notice the other girl’s gaze drift towards her. Dark blue eyes looked her up and down, studying her, before the girl’s mouth curled into a sarcastic smile. “Hey, Amethyst, guess you weren’t lying. Your new housemate  _ is  _ kinda cute.”

Pearl spluttered at his, choking on air. She braced herself on the counter beside her and wheezed into the crook of her elbow, at which blue hair laughed.

Amethyst, however, gasped and seemingly flushed, punching the blue-haired one in the arm. “Wha- hey! Shut the hell up, Lapis!” 

Peridot appeared vaguely offended, now prying her eyes off of the screen. “Hey! Yeah, shut up!” She agreed, at which Lapis rolled her eyes. 

“What, you jealous?” She raised an eyebrow and Peridot simply pouted, crossing her arms with a huff. Lapis sighed in what seemed like defeat, smiling gently and leaning downwards to place a chaste kiss onto Peridot’s lips. The smaller girl seemed content at that.

Amethyst seemed adverse to this. “Ewww! Get a room!” She heckled, laughing as she shouted teasingly at them. 

Alabaster hands gently brushed off Pearl’s light blue top as she recovered from her coughing fit, standing up straight and crossing her arms. She cleared her throat at Amethyst’s comments. “Don’t be rude, Amethyst. Love is nice.”

Her housemate hopped up and turned so that she was facing Pearl, indigo eyes bearing up into her. “What? You all lovestruck or something, too?” The mischievous glint in Amethyst’s face was not new to Pearl.

The taller girl turned away and tilted her head downwards as she placed her bag down next to the door. She sighed, her brow furrowing. “...I used to be.” Her voice was not louder than a whisper. Thankfully, she wasn’t graced with any sort of answer. She made her way toward the kitchen to make a pot of tea (she was already nearing a headache considering circumstances), but when she actually  _ saw  _ the kitchen, she stopped in her tracks.

It was trashed. 

Cupboards had been swung open and dishes were strewn about the counters, crumbs littering the table and the carpet behind her. Pearl only narrowly avoided stepping on a loose chip from a bag that laid open on the tile floor at which she cringed. The disorder left Pearl  _ fuming _ , her discomfort of the disarray making her want to vomit.

She swung towards the trio on the couch, planting her hands onto the counter. Her nose scrunched and she grit her teeth a moment before raising her voice. “Ex _ cuse _ me,” She began, at least half-getting their attention. “You all need to clean this up!”

There was silence for a moment as the three looked at her, and then at each other. And then they laughed. Pearl’s pale face tinted a light pink, but she kept her head raised indignantly at them.

“Pff- you’re not the boss of us!” Peridot’s nasally voice piped up, sneering at her with a scoff. She earned a high-five from Lapis. 

“G-Gah- you all made this mess, now you need to fix it!” She retorted, throwing her arms out ot bring attention to the room. Her stomach churning at the confrontation. She’d never been too great at it. 

“It’s not hurting anyone.” Came Lapis’s disinterested reply, bare feet propped on the coffee table that Pearl would have to clean later, as well.

Pearl frowned, clenching her fists in frustration. “But y-”

“Aw, can it, already!” Amethyst interrupted her, exasperated. “I can do whatever I want with  _ my  _ house, okay?!”

Pearl flinched backwards.She wrung her hands in front of her chest. “ _ I _ live here too…!” She huffed in return, before turning on her heel away from the rest of them. Although, she swore she saw a flash of something softer on Amethyst’s face before she did.

She knew she couldn’t just leave the kitchen in such a state, so she pulled the limited cleaning supplies from under the sink and got to work. It was true that cleaning was sort of… therapeutic for her, although that didn’t rid the annoyance of having to tidy up after Amethyst and her rude guests (although she was thus far used to cleaning Amethyst’s messes, and Lapis and Peridot seemed fine- just not to Pearl’s tastes, or maybe she was just angry at them). She kept her eyes trained on what was in front of her, grumbling grievances under her breath. The only time she did glance upwards was to see the others all rising to their feet. She raised an eyebrow, quizzically watching the scene.

“Uh… we should probably get going. Kinda awkward in here, anyway.” Lapis glanced to the side as she placed a hand onto Peridot’s shoulders. “Thanks for having us, or whatever, though.”

“Yeah, wow, thanks!” Peridot echoed. 

The concluded their brief goodbyes before the pair exited (much to Pearl’s satisfaction). Although, she pretended not to notice, taking a breath as she distractedly returned to what she was doing.

In her peripheral, she saw Amethyst rather sheepishly sidle up to the counter, and then let out a loud sigh.

“What is it, Amethyst?” Pearl eventually questioned, giving in to her obvious plea for attention.

“Oh- er- uh… sorry, P.”

Pearl paused, straightening herself from her place washing the dishes. She opened her mouth to say something, closed it, and then opened it again.

“...P?”

Amethyst paused, and then chortled. “It’s a nickname, stupid.” She rolled her eyes and smiled, and Pearl would have to admit that it was nice to hear Amethyst laugh when it wasn’t with those two.

“...Right.” Pearl glanced to the side. “So… you’re sorry?”

“Uh- yeah. For all that, back there. Those guys don’t really gel with new people all that well, and I feel bad just making you clean all this up for us.”

Pearl blinked in gentle surprise, cocking her head to the side. This was new.

“So… you want some help?” Amethyst provided a reluctant sigh. Knowing her very apparent dislike of chores and anything remotely related to tidying around the house, the gesture brought Pearl a soft smile.

The thin girl tugged a wet wipe out of its plastic container and handed it to the shorter. “Wipe down that table, would you?” She nodded her head towards the couch’s respective coffee table.

Amethyst groaned- rather dramatically in Pearl’s opinion- and then turned sluggishly back towards the living room. “Whatever you say, boss.”

Pearl watched her for a moment, sighing gently. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was definitely a start. 

A step in the right direction for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn’t resist adding a little sprinkle of lapidot ;)
> 
> i know i left the backstory of this fic pretty clouded, but hold your questions, you’ll be getting a touch of it in the next chapter!


	4. Author’s Note (Not a Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a lil a/n :)

Hello everybody!

I just wanted to quickly post on both my ongoings to say that while I’m very sorry about the slow updates, there are, in fact, updates coming! Life has been hectic, and I’ve found myself to be a bit burnt out recently. But don’t worry—I have the entirety of my stories completely planned and all I need to do is finish writing the chapters up.

Once again, I’m so sorry for the delay! But if you’re still here, thank you so much for your support :).

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to warmth in the cold! im SUPER excited for this fic! doesn't seem like much yet, but i have some major plans for the direction this is going. i should warn now: there will be triggering subjects up ahead, but they will be prefaced with specific warnings. all the same, i hope you all will enjoy this story as much as i do!


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